


Mic Shadows

by Holy_Leonards_After_Dark (Holy_Leonards)



Category: Dark Shadows, Fallout 4, Night Gallery
Genre: Crack, Cross Over, Low Budget, M/M, Mic Shadows, Money Shot, Outtakes, handjob, unsolicited narration, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7307320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards_After_Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like, Episodes 216 and 217 of Dark Shadows but with Fallout characters and Night Gallery fools.</p><p>I'm getting out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mic Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Can you guess what I started watching?

Nick walked through the door, into a poorly lit room. Obviously fake candles placed here and there. The beautiful sconces could not distract from the fact they were actually cheap nightlights. Still, a microphone shadow was somehow cast over the room.

Nate slumped against the wall. He was pale, with sweat plastering his hair to his forehead.

The detective grabbed the man’s shoulders. “Nate, what’s wrong?”

“I can’t tell you, you ninny,” he said, pulling away from the detective.

“Is that blood?” He pulled on the blue fabric. Red specks stained the material. “Let’s get these clothes off you.”

“Stop trying to strip me naked, asshole.”

“Seriously, is that blood?” Managing to pull the sleeve up, yellow eyes flickered to the skin. “Why does your arm look weird?”

“Uh, um…. Weird how?”

“It’s all gray, and looks like it has no veins in it.”

“I… was not bleeding, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Nate,” Nick said, spreading Nate’s thighs and rubbing them in a totally platonic way. “I know when you’re lying. You’re voice gets all high pitched.”

“What do you mean?” Nate said, sounding like he’d inhaled helium.

Valentine analyzed the arm. “Where’d this come from,” he asked, digging his metal thumb into the cut.

By this time, Nick was twisting one of Nate’s nipples, just ‘cause.

“Oh, you got in a bar fight? With who? Who did you get – get...” Nick forgot his lines. “Oh! Who’d you get in a bar fight with?”

“He cut me with a razor, or something.”

“Cut!” Yelled the director.

“Yeah, he cut me.”

“No, you ninny. You said that line too soon. You’re line is ‘Not Bananas.’”

“Oh, right.” Said Nate. “Not Bananas.”

Nick looked over the incision he’d been fingerfucking. “It’s not that deep. Why are you so pale? You couldn’t have lost all that blood from this.” The synth rubbed Nate’s thighs, still, but higher.

“He cut me with a razor or something. It looks small, but it’s really deep.”

“Nate, I’m your friend. Your best friend. Friends.” Nick was jerking Nate off, now. “Why won’t you tell me the truth?”

“What time is it?”

“Party time. It’s almost 4 o’clock.”

“There’s still time!” Nate’s face, pink from blush and lack of blood. “I got to get out of here.”

“No you don’t. N o Y o u D o n ’ t. You’re too stick…. Sick.”

“You don’t understand, butt for brains. You may be a detective, but you can’t detect the ive at hand.”

Nick stared at him, still squeezing the base of the penis, and rubbing the head.

“Oh, fuck! Gun’s going off.”

Nick looked disgusted. Money shot all over his face. “Vampire, huh?”

“How did you know?”

“I’ve been around the block enough times to know that taste. Plus, your semen literally spells out ‘vampire’ on my face.”

And it did. On Nick’s face, there was a V, an A, an M, a P, an I, an R, and an E. All of which, in Nate’s penis’ funny handwriting.

“You should see what I can do with pee and snow.”

The two men shared a knowing smile. “Wait,” Nate began, “what do you mean you’ve tasted vampire semen before?”

In walked Bananas. A fly entered the room with him, landing on his head. Dead eyes watched the homoerotic display, before batting the pest away.

“It is I, you ninnies, Bananas! The greatest Collinses man from the now U.K. and not the past.”

Bananas gave a wink.

“Wait, Bananas! Isn't that the guy in that well painted painting? You know, the one with the ring and it is so detailed and stuff and, like, the artist, who totally did not create this show, was a pure genious.”

“Silence, you ill informed ignoramus! If you keep making these...these uh...these...what are you making?”

“Jesus Christ, Bananas, your lines aren't that hard.”

“I can't remember them!”

All three of them looked at the camera.

“Are we still rolling?”

“Yeah! We don't have the time or budget for another take. Go!”

“AH! Well, Bananas, I most certainly do not want that in my...uh...area of Dark Shadows.”

“Your loss, you babbling booby!”

Bananas opened the door with a well delivered flick of the wrist and slipped out.

“So, about this vampire thing, Nate.”

  
  


  
  


  
  


Bananas was standing in the hallway admiring the painting of himself.

“Oh, how that craftsman captured all of my good features, especially the ring!”

He removed the ring from his butthole and caressed it.

“My precious!”

Suddenly, a short man with a lot of body hair appeared from behind the painting.

“What you are witnessing is pure television, raw and uncut, just like me. You see, in this showcase of the wet and wild, you never know which lines you will hear or what shadows you will see. A ghostly microphone here or a string of words bent towards the slightly satanic there. It is all fun and games until you're pressed for time and cash...in the Night Gallery of the Rings Zone.”

Bananas did not notice the little guy until he saw smoke rising out of the corner of his eye.

“Are you smoking here? We clearly state that we do not allow-AHHHHH! A WEREWOLF!”

Rod looked around in confusion until he realized the banana man was talking about him.

Bananas grabbed a broom and chased Rod off of the property, ensuring that the narrating wolfman would never target their precious home ever again.

 

 


End file.
